After the second year of marriage I began to realize that my wifes focus was more on her dogs than on me. He wont take the thing to the vet, no matter what! By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. I know this is going to be a daily struggle between us if they would live with us. )When were in bed trying to go to sleep the dog sits in your face and stares for literally an hour. I know the situation is not helped by my depression and anxiety so Ive booked a session with a counsellor but I seriously dont know how to get past this. I knew he loved his dog going in, but it wasnt until we started dating that I saw just how much his dog sheds and how insane his love is for his pet. The sh$t stains in the bed, waking up in the middle of the night stepping in pee and not to mention peeing on my $200 sneakers was the last straw!!! Youre just asking for it t be spoiled and act out and youll never get respect or your SO wont especially. Ive always had dogs so I know how to train them from puppies & I believe in boundaries with pets. He expected my cats locked up so his dog could take over my home. One of them is very dominant and a bully to the other one, most of the time, which can be very frustrating. She stays in the basement due to hip dysplasia. I tell him it hurts my feelings when he says things like that about my dog, wishing her dead all the time, but he says what about MY feelings, how I hate the dog, that I do not care that he hates my dog and he feels he has to live with this animal he hates. My question to you is: Your pet surely is not a happy animal in his given situation. Today there is dog bakeries, day cares. Im tired of fighting over her. When they have the world revolving around a dog, eventually they put you to the back of the line! So when the last one child moved out, we were stuck with them, and I became the sole responsible one for all three. What a jerk. Small, low-shedding breed thats easy to train, adopting an older dog to skip the puppy months, paying for it and its needs myself, made sure it was clear the dog wouldnt be allowed on the bed, etc, etc. Have faith that what you feel is correct. for 4 years. Who shed heavily and leave pee in the bed and black stuff on the pillows?? I felt betrayed but chose to comprise and said she can be on the couch, but only on his side. But my boyfriend loved her. The dog will poo and pee, I refuse to live like that. I dont know what to do anymore! Puppies are like silly putty and if you put the time in then it is YOU that creates the dogs disposition. The saddest thing to me is that I miss having a furry friend (pet) but fear if another was brought into this household, my nightmare would start all over again, so pet ownership for me will not happen as long as this man is my husband. He was even nice to my cat and the cat loved being on his lap. afterall, her behaviour with her dog is not right anyway. Rather, he makes a long long list of excuses for her retarded manipulative behaviour. The only way I see to rectify the situation is to return the dog. A pet is still an animal!!! Its time for you to put your foot down with you bf. My SO doesnt want her outside and cant manage to find the time to train her. I was raised around dogs, cats, birds, turtles, and fish. Hes a good dad but can not show boundaries or rules to this dog. Its been a battle since that day 4 years ago. Hes supposed to be able to go in every room, lay on the couch, and cuddle with you in bed, and if you dont allow this, then you need to give him to someone who does. Im a pretty neat person and i know the hair especially would drive me up the wall. I agree with your comment about women with dogs having relationship issues with their SO. I have had many conversations with him to try to play with her and pay more attention to her more than just feeding her and letting her outside. Regardless the animal was never trained properly and she has no intentions of attempting to do so. Shes a one person dog. She even barked when he kissed me. It didnt matter if it was a little one which we bought her or the big one we used for travel with our older dog. These people dont even really think for themselves. I have two dogs. Im not interested in a DOG keeping me awake. Dogs are your slaves, respect them, give them tasks, love them and ask that they maintain a respectful dog/owner relationship train them to love commands, train them to be dogs not people. Ive been around a few months and he has learned a lot from me training him but she puts in no effort. She has said she supports my dream. Ive always wanted them to be trained properly but my husband just wants to spoil them and do whatever they want. How were we supposed to know that our partner was going to laugh at us when their dog farted in our face and then yelled at us when we became depressed about it? So I talked to her about this and it ended up becoming a giant arguement. I was also in a new relationship and did not want to throw the towel in yet, and he told me he was open to having me help train the dog. Im glad Im not the only one who feels this way about a dog. If your dog displays jealous behaviors or treats your spouse poorly, consistency is even more crucial. Im just sick and tired of this dog being higher on the totem pole than me and our kids. Enough to break the marriage? Dogs are animals! I could no longer stand the way my husband brought down her spirit. I just got done reading this article and all of the comments and its fair to say there are people who love dogs like they are their own children and then there are people who dont understand that at all. On top of that he never got her trained or really house broke her completely and allowed her to sleep in the bed. I need advice! I wouldnt stay with someone that is a flake. Wow. Our dogs sleep on the couch, despite repeated promises, before buying a new couch, that they wouldnt. Not if you would have been watching him, the amount of money it has cost us because of his lack of training involvment has made me physically ill. HOW do I communicate to someone who LOVES their pet so much that they litterally and honestly feel the pets do no wrong???? I really dont want one of the dogs being so much hassle. choose which path you want to take? Sadly, our girlfriends do not know or are aware of how they are being played. Given that one of the dogs has bitten another dog before? So Im resentful that I cant have those cuddly mornings with my bf any more. There were even ants on the floor from all the dog food that lays on the floor when they eat. My bfs dog (hes never had pets & bought the dog for his kids when he & his ex wife divorced bc he thought it would make the divorce easier for the kids.I know, terrible idea! He has done somethings like give the dog his own room (which I still believe he belongs outside), because he cant walk around the house and spread his dander everywhere that Im allergic to. We cant leave Jake alone. I ended up ordering our food to go, but still. I have been married for over a year and living with my hubby for over 3 years. Why would anyone want to be with someone like that, pets or no pets? He then cuddles the dog and the dog thinks he is doing good. I would have put up with the other two cats. He wants her on the couch all the time even though she is always peeing on herself and dirty. Is asking him to find him the dog a new home too much? I think that many of us tend to believe that people can get better overtime, not worse, so it is hard to see everything coming in the middle of a fog. any helpful suggestions????? I want it to work. Reading the post below has been a relief to know that my feelings toward my girlfriends Boston Terrier is genuine and not abnormal. Lastly, they tried to give me the third degree when I said that we crate our dog when we have visitors. What should I do, I have know where to go and no money bc everything is in her name and bank account. We are both big-time dog people and love being around furry friends. I have to add that we have had many sit down talks about my feelings and lack of help, he does good for a day, then slacks, we comminicate very well, however when it comes to the dogs, he just does not even try to meet me half way at full commitmance of efforts to break the habbits; i just dont under stand the disconnect. It is protecting a member of its pack. Hi Logan, I am living the same situation with my bf. I dont have an ear problem so I cant relate but I dont know how I am supposed to deal with this. I want both of my boys happy and it breaks my heart to see them hate each other. She was way obsessed about them with a bulldog pillow, bulldog painting, bulldog mugs, bulldog statue, bulldog keychain, picture of her dead bulldog on her mantle along with his ashes, her company is named after her bulldog with its picture. Because of that, your husband may think the do is far better off in your house free of little ones. When we met he never told me he was a pet lover. I would simply say if the dog stays outside it shouldnt be an issue for you. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. Thats dangerous. He knows his dog drives me crazy and I think tries to make things better but its got to be because he loves me. Show intitiative. If it bites on your kids, guests, and other people, this is a reason why does your husband/boyfriend wants to rehome the dog. In fact I finally had him get rid of a delapitaed recliner that was her chair trying to dehumanize her. Absolutely not. And he was always telling the dog good girl and she wouldnt do anything! Have a nice day! What should I do? I just cant grasp the thought process.. Choosing a pet over a partner is more common than you think. Shes the alpha over him. Choose wisely. They want to get rid of their dog but my girlfriend wont let him because of her dog. How I cant stand his dog. I just feel gross All the time. And it is quite obvious to us that he is not going to change. Home Terms of Service Privacy Policy Sitemap Subscribe to The GoodTherapy Blog. She had the right to sit anywhere! Both 4 years and my wife has one who is 5. I really despise this dog and she gets all the love and attention. Hed sit in a recliner to the left of his sofa. I am interrupted by dogs noisy playing in the house every time I try to speak and the illustrious owner ignores and interrupts me to quieten them down. Just as I clean after his 12 year old son who is completely capable of picking up after himself. Ive been shouted and screamed at constantly about me not stroking the dog enough, looking at the dog funny, moaning about the dog, reduced to tears because of it regularly, it came to a head when I found dog mess in my little boys room and I finally said it would have to go! It isnt his love for animals it is channeling his anger in the wrong direction. I just dont understand not loving a dog, any dog. My boyfriend and I have been dating for around 4 years and his mother was very sick with cancer during this time. I just dont know what to do. This comprehensive guide contains 15 reasons why your husband/boyfriend wants to rehome the dog and 23 possible solutions. He has rescued two cats and three dogs over the years. So here I am, a year later, heartbroken for my feline (who by the way I had before the fianc, and she is still a perfect little lady) with a dog I cant stand, and a man I basically resent all BC I was dumb enough to bring it home. (chihuahuas) those dogs are little demons that got sent to earth. If you do not care then okay be willing to accept it needs to get trained for the sake of a healthy long lasting relationship which I believe is more important than an animal maybe because its a human being and they are a good fit they will benefit your life most likely more than an animal will. He has arthritis really bad where you can see he is in discomfort and even when he drinks or eats, he cant stand up perfectly straight. I have always been an animal lover and had several pets growing up. Could it be that it is really not as bad as you describe since you are still living there with him and his pets? I have not ever hated dogs. And if youre the one resenting your partners pet, be clear about what you need to feel better. Were you a dog as a child? Am I crazy for feeling this way? Now that everything is settled I noticed he was loving the dog more as well. If you can spot out the exact cause with the help of a vet, the remedy process will be much easier. I was tired of this and enforced her laying down, but then it was a battle of her getting up and my telling her to lay down. Im standing firm & want him to go to my therapist with me so perhaps she can explain it to him better than I am. Now I had a rescue of a mom dachsund and 3 pups who someone dropped out of a car and left. yeah? He is so impulsive when he eats and throws up his food then eats it up again! But if you have tried to change things for his comfort, and he is still being mean I would wonder whats wrong with him. Sounds like your partner is a narcissist, please join a narcissist support group on Facebook and check for yourself. It shows she not only has any idea how pets work, but what is really helpful for someone who is depressed. I wish the best for you from one dog lover to another. I actually use to really enjoy his dogs company, but ever since my fianc and I moved in together (this being our first time living together), I see things a little bit more clearly when it comes to the dog. My girlfriend has a Yorkie, which I came into the relationship with her having. She did say she was open to having me help train him to break the pattern, but I still feel like shes just gotten too comortable with the convenience of dropping her dog off at her parents house. We had a neighbor who had one of those and it drove us crazy. Sometimes the bond is instant and sometimes its not. i cant seem to find any (or very little) help for the person who does not own the pet. That being said, you are being selfish and cannot say live your life to keep him happy. Shes fine if its her telling his backstory, but I only have so much time in terms of making suggestions or offering to help. I see, so the dog wasnt at his place when you met so that problem didnt come until later. From day one, training was implemented. I hate them. Also that the new one would be just as spoiled as the last. No longer walking with anxiety over the man-dog/wife relationship. I volunteer in animals shelters.. and it is nice to be able to get the animal fix of missing my dogs and cats by doing that.. I have been seeing a man for almost 3 years now. What we view there is mostly Just fantasy. You should be able to talk with him. As people have disappeared into their screens there is an expectation by some that they neednt live in the real world; that dogs or games or something they can control which does not include another living/breathing human is the central focus in their life. If she didnt get her way, shed start washing her private area for a very, very, long time. He talks about it all the time. Why would you want your dog in the kitchen where human food is prepared and served? But Bailey hasnt ever chewed up any thing and me and my 3 kids havent had any problem with her in the home.. We all sleep with her love her play with her etc The arguing became rediclious over MY dog and she ended up outside!!!! He says I cant understand how he feels because I dont like dogs. She had one dog she rescued. The dog relented at first and then allowed him and I watched him plant his lips firmly on the side of her muzzle. hi question very similar problem. If all responsibilities about the dog are assigned to him, like giving exercises morning and afternoon, taking the dog for grooming, veterinary checkups, and other duties, his concern is fair. It doesnt sleep on the sofa or beds and is house trained. Ive had several vets tell me to not let a dog sleep on the bed. I didnt go back & re-read for spelling, etc so please forgive any grammatical mistakes. Forgive any grammatical mistakes my question to you is: your pet surely is not going change..., long time would you want your dog in the basement due hip. Need to feel better have visitors cats, birds, turtles, and fish, birds,,... Animal lover and had several pets growing up, but still way my husband just wants rehome... 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