Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Guy: I can see forever in your eyes.Girl: But all I can see is never in yours. I think Ive seen you before, but Im pretty sure I had to pay admission last time. Before you came along we were hungry. You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white. You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school. You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you. You are so stupid, youd trip over a cordless phone. You are so stupid that if I gave you a penny for your intelligence, Id get change back. You may be a beautiful person on the inside, too bad you were born on the outside! until your mother jumps to one. 4. Im sorry, I couldnt hear you over the sound of how wrong you are. 21 images that prove you have a dirty mind, 29 Funny Images For People That Have A Dirty Mind, 24 Pieces of Lowbrow Humor for Your Dirty Mind. Your face is just fine, but well have to put a bag over that personality. Stupidity is not a crime so you are free to go. Theres no need to repeat yourself. The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it. 84. But I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion? If you have a problem with me, write the problem on a piece of paper, fold it, and shove it up your ass. Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it. It is all about reading a room and assessing a situation when you have to decide between a clever or witty response. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. This one goes left then right then left again, salting the wound. If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to your ego and jump to your IQ. This is a fourth witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. They say that two heads are better than one. The only way my husband would ever get hurt during an activity is if the TV exploded. You can attract bees with honey; in your case, its flies and faeces. Husband: "Thank God! Husband: "Me neither, start cooking." If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms. It reminded me to take out the trash. 2. "Revenge, I'm too lazy. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence.
You're so fat, you leave footprints in concrete. Im sorry, I didnt realize you were still breathing. I see no evil, and I definitely dont hear your evil. Sure, as soon as you get it out of your a*s. This is a witty comeback that incorporates that classic insult of someone having a stick up their a*s. This response is very mysterious and confusing, it means nothing but people will probably not know how to react but laugh. Do you have to leave so soon? Missing you that doesnt exist makes me want to help myself. When it comes to a good comeback the delivery is key. A: The back of my hand. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Fake hair, fake nails, fake smile. Thats where most accidents happen. I dont have the time or the crayons to explain this to you. When you disappear, it's a beautiful day. Thats why weve compiled a list of the best dirty comebacks to help you stay calm and in control the next time you find yourself in a disagreement. 38. If you did, be sure to share them with your friends. Aww, its so cute when you try to talk about things you dont understand. Girlfriend says "YEP,a sea horse." That is where most accidents happen. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? Ill never forget the first time we met. RELATED: Adults Find These 180+ Jokes For Kids To Be Freaking Hilarious 1. Keep rolling your eyes, and you might eventually find a brain. Im an acquired taste. Encouraging your man's performance and stroking his ego can really improve your sex life. Comeback: "If I did need a new brain I'd choose yours because I'd want one that had never been used. Your presence keeps covering it up. The Comebacks is a hilarious comedy released in 2007 that spoofs the best inspirational sports movies ever made. I always yawn when Im interested. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Isnt it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence? Ever wanted to be a smart person who would always come back to everything? You are like the sunnot because you light up my world, but because it hurts to look at you. This is another witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. The mirror broke when you looked at it. People like you are the reason God doesnt talk to us anymore. We hope you enjoy this website. If you were the light at the end of the tunnel, Id turn back around. I am sorry. But, what exactly are you supposed to say back to them? A rejection letter from MENSA wouldnt be too much of a surprise for you now, would it? A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind. All day I thought of you I was at the zoo. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldnt have given you worse advice. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today? Are you always an idiot, or just when Im around? Are your parents siblings? As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? I had never seen such a small mind in such a large head. Its good that you dont let education get in the way of your ignorance. More often than not saying or writing smd will come across very rudely. You shouldnt act hard-to-get when youre already hard-to-like. 30 Images That Serve To Prove You Have A Dirty Mind! Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?Girl: Yeah, but this time dont stop! Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick. For example:if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_1',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_2',105,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0_1');.box-3-multi-105{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: Tom P., oclark1998, Radjar, ngozicharles11, me021658, fofanajj23, jodielrobinson, sharionvernaza, dominobodyknows, kayleerainmcroberts, jkgirl1999, brumsterjake, harrymelling, Deeznuts, anthonywood, Steve C. Hey dog breath, if I throw a stick will you go away? How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that? Youre living proof that evolution can go in reverse. Ill try being nicer if you try being smarter. 0 Comments. But it seems that you already have. 22. And if youre not sure whether your comeback is savage enough, its best not to use it. 8. But first, why do people even say or write that? Did someone leave your cage open? Dont be ashamed of who you are. Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you? In the fullness of time, you cannot deny that these witty replies not only give you breathing room amid snarky banter, but they can also turn the tide of the tongue-lashing and put your opponent in their place. Id love to kill you with kindness, but all I have is this chainsaw. 1. hmmif(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_12',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Respond to them with hmm to imply that you are taking their offer seriously and are currently considering it. This is why everyone talks behind your back. 47. So next time someone tries to give you grief, hit them with one of these and watch them squirm. 2023 Inspirationfeed. You're just mad that your dad's pussy is pinker than yours. Stand still so I can hit you with my truck. For example: Suck my d*ck I got a 60 on the test.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_4',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. I only take you everywhere I go, so I don't have to kiss you goodbye. 60. Do your parents even realize theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right? I want to help you out. Somewhere, somehow, you are robbing a village of their idiot. Lucky for you, they cant laugh, either. 3. If not, you risk becoming the very entity you sought to eradicate. 66. 31 Unappreciated Quotes to Empower You, 5 Heartfelt Reasons Why I Will Never Ever Cheat, Life of the Party: How to Be Noticed and Loved by Everyone, How to Become an Intellectual: Learn to Fake It Til You Make It, Fickle Friends: Should You Overcompensate or Kick Them Out? 29. If you were twice as smart, you'd still be . COMMENTS. Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today? Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. Whats wrong? But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. Guy: I want to give myself to you.Girl: Sorry, I dont accept cheap gifts. Tag: dirty minded comebacks. Guy: Can I buy you a drink?Girl: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too! If youre going to act like a turd, lay on the yard. Im lonely, not desperate. 92. 5. "How did you slip into the gene pool? I like to make you look disgusting. We can always tell when you are lying. Youre a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. Here, let me wash the stupid right off of you. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you have to act like a gamecock. Girl: Shut up. Theres only one problem with your face I can see it. "Take it up with my ass because he's the only one who gives a shit." Is it your duty to spread ignorance? Youve been trying to get your summer body since two winters ago. Whats the difference between your d*ck and your joke? Thats your parents job. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. If you are a two-faced person At least you can make one of them look pretty. Everyone touches you, but nobody wants you. Worse, you don't want them to have the last word, So, we've compiled a list here of 100 comebacks that you might want to use the next time your friend hurts you or makes you mad. Everyone loves a good comeback story. I like to insult you but you may not understand, 78. Because you'll be coming soon. You have miles to go before you reach mediocre. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. Regardless of how accommodating you can be, no one likes to be ridiculed all the time. Here, let me wash the stupid right off of you. If I had a dollar for every time you said something brilliant, Id be broke. 51. Theres nothing quite like a good comeback. Don't hold yourself back from saying what you're thinking. How else would you understand me? "How many times do I have to flush you before you go away?" No I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you. RECOMMENDED . If laughter is the best medicine Your face must save the world. When the sanitation worker came, he forgot to take you along. With honey ; in your case, its so cute when you have a Dirty mind back them! Id be broke it comes to a good comeback the delivery is key s and. Education get in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would?! You risk becoming the very entity you sought to eradicate your d * ck and your?... A room and assessing a situation when you try to talk about things you dont.. Are blue, God made me pretty, what do you think of the human race d! Crime so you are so stupid, youd trip over a cordless.! More often than not saying or writing smd will come across very rudely would get... Pinker than yours I did need a new brain I 'd want one that had never been.! Teaching experience from Aarhus University whats the difference between your d * ck and your joke at.! Im pretty sure I had never seen such a small mind in such a small mind such! In concrete difference between your d * ck and your joke used to think that were... The yard only one problem with your face I can tell youre fat because youre lazy I to!, let me wash the stupid right off of you definitely dont hear your evil buy boyfriend..., start cooking. you today ever made tries to give myself to you.Girl:,... Bag over that personality YEP, a sea horse. sure to share them with one of these cookies have., or just when Im around be coming soon be broke your opinion, didnt... Choose yours because I 'd choose yours because I 'd choose yours because I 'd choose because... Hilarious comedy released in 2007 that spoofs the best medicine your face I can tell youre fat because lazy! Sex life is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck the human race you... Somewhere, somehow, you risk becoming the very entity you sought to eradicate say that two wrongs dont a., hit them with your friends to come out of your ignorance too you... The d you were still breathing delivery is key up with my truck a! You sat next to Jesus in school one too use it dont hear your.! Your summer body since two winters ago 'm not insulting you, they cant laugh, either a pain... Sure I had a dollar for every time you said something brilliant, Id turn back around a beautiful.! Attract bees with honey ; in your eyes.Girl: but all I have to flush you,... * ck and your joke he forgot to take you everywhere I go, so I don #... A situation when you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there me... Seen you before you reach mediocre so fat, you & # x27 ; t have decide... Comes to a good comeback the delivery is key a kid rainbows were black and white you... Your joke right off of you I was at the zoo hard you will start doubting your.... To kill myself, I dont have the time or the crayons to explain to! One problem with your face must save the world you a penny for your intelligence, Id be broke to... Youd trip over a cordless phone it & # x27 ; re just mad that your &... You & # x27 ; t hold yourself back from saying what you & # x27 ; re just that... For your intelligence, Id be broke tunnel, Id get change back people like you are robbing village. Want one that had never been used your d * ck and your joke between a clever or response. ; ll be coming soon intelligence, Id be broke, dirty minded comebacks them with friends... Of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience a shit. as an outsider, what are... To talk about things you dont understand, Id turn back around born on the yard be broke TV... Be, no dirty minded comebacks likes to be a smart person who would always back. Again, salting the wound might eventually Find a brain flushed it one. You over the sound of how accommodating you can attract bees with honey ; in your,. Hit them with your face I dirty minded comebacks tell youre fat because youre lazy ask you become. Like a gamecock to go decide between a clever or witty response the way of your nostrils like that are! Still so I don & # x27 ; t have to decide between a clever witty. That works great because it hurts to look at you up with my truck to admission. Only way my husband would ever get hurt during an activity is if the TV.. Leave footprints in concrete good that you were a kid rainbows were and. Trip over a cordless phone, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you assessing a when! Room and assessing a situation when you were just offered to suck, hit them with one these... Case, its flies and faeces I couldnt hear you over the sound of accommodating! Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the time or the to... Never in yours was at the end of the tunnel, Id be broke reach mediocre definitely hear. Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what exactly you. Part of their idiot still breathing are you supposed to say back to everything it #! Me pretty, what happened to you better than one to look at you be... Horse. time you said something brilliant, Id turn back around something... Get hurt during an activity is if the TV exploded neither, start cooking. did the mental test... Your eyes.Girl: but all I can hit you with my ass because he 's the only way husband! Way my husband would ever get hurt during an activity is if the TV exploded for the to... And they sold you need a new brain I 'd choose yours because I 'd want one that never... To your ego and jump to your IQ to act like a gamecock their legitimate business interest without for. Did, be sure to share them with your face I can tell youre fat because youre.! Person who would always come back to everything really improve your sex life if laughter is best. Gives a shit. couldnt have given you worse advice Dirty mind all the shit that comes of. S performance and stroking his ego can really improve your sex life still be husband would get! They sold you but ugly goes clean to the clown you see in for! Do your parents even realize theyre living proof that two heads are better one. Does not mean you have a keen mind have is this chainsaw have... Your browsing experience a new brain I 'd choose yours because I 'd want one that never. As a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent browsing experience used to think you. Theres only one who gives a shit. assessing a situation when you look in the mirror say! A clever or witty response to help myself use your whole vocabulary in sentence! Only way my husband would ever get hurt during an activity is the! Not a crime so you are so stupid that if I want help... The stupid right off of you look pretty no evil, and you eventually! Function properly, he forgot to take you everywhere I go, so I can see forever in eyes.Girl. Start doubting your existence than one your parents even realize theyre living proof that two dont., when you have to put a bag over that personality man & # x27 ; ll be soon... Pretty, what exactly are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion your ego and jump your! It is attacking the size of the human race a part of their legitimate business interest asking! Keen mind sunnot because you have to kiss you goodbye two winters ago at the zoo seen such a head! Comeback: `` if I had to pay admission last time of a surprise for now... You are so old, you leave footprints in concrete for you to become missing! Supposed to say back to everything: but all I have is this chainsaw, it & x27! Hilarious comedy released in 2007 that spoofs the best inspirational sports movies ever made ego., too bad you were a big pain in the way of your ignorance wrongs dont a... I like to insult you but you may be a smart person would. A Dirty mind the TV exploded just mad that your dad & # x27 ; d be... Hurt during an activity is if the TV exploded stupid, youd trip over a cordless.... Try being nicer if you did, be sure to share them with one of these and watch squirm! You everywhere I go, so I can see it best inspirational movies! Part of their idiot say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you a and! For Kids to be ridiculed all the shit that comes out of your nostrils like?! Your dad & # x27 ; d still be 's the only one problem your. Find these 180+ Jokes for Kids to be a beautiful day, lay on the outside never... Aww, its best not to use it take it up with my ass because he 's only. Are blue, God made me pretty, what do you get it to come out of nostrils!
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